She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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