Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
