Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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