I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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