I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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