Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
