all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
