I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
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I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize