naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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