On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
should my penis look like a turkey
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
