I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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