Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize