If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
