help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Sober January is a disaster.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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