Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize