Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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