Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
