are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i think i have two assholes
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Operation Purity has been aborted
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
