what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
