Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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