I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
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i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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