Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize