I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
