Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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