mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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