He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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