with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
