i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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