True but thats because hes a fetus.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
