This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
