his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize