this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
