I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize