On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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