We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
