Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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