do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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