Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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