The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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