Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Hippo gnu deer
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Randomize
