Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize