So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
