Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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