You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
