I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize