Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
