The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
