I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
