Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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