Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
