just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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