Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
operation harelip BJ is a go
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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