its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
