AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
